Roll out of bed, growl a few times, pet the pup, kick some cats, turn on the news (why do I turn on the news in the mornings?), feel sad about the news, drink some 'joe (that will put a smile on your face!), and on and on.
Then I step on the scale, again, as per usual.
Why do I do this to myself? As if Kim's screaming, yelling, bitching and rude comments isn't enough to make me stop.
To my delight, I am somewhere around 8 pounds lighter than the day before. Let's just scoot this around and see if I weigh the same 4" to the right. Then I weigh about 5 pounds less. One scoot forward about 6", to the right about 2", and I hit a whopping 10 pound weight loss!
Obviously, my scale is broken. I think what's more broken is ME and the time I spent actually figuring out that it was in fact broken and that I did not miraculously lose 10 pounds over night. ((One can always have hope, right?)) The batteries are dying and this is a GREAT thing.
You see, today, is a new day. I threw that thing in my closet <<I really should throw it AWAY.. but I too am a gluten for punishment and probably will want it back at some point>> and said to hell with being a slave to the scale. If anyone knows the impacts of stress and anxiety on bodyweight, it's me. And yet, each morning I hop on that scale expecting miracles, only to be knocked back down by a pound or two. My workouts are beastly- I have a personal trainer. I do burpees for kicks and grunt my way through painful (read: absolutely worth it & SAFE) exercises. This badassness will result in an INCREASE in weight and yet... I've let my happiness be spelled out by 3 simple numbers on a digital scale.
Why oh why.
It just so happened that on this new day of my life, another fantastic blog, (ironic that it, too, is written by a Jessica? I think not!) http://todaywasmeaningful.wordpress.com, had a new post: because of the shoes we'll wear. Jessica wrote all about the impact we can make on this very day, based on the shoes we choose to put on. Do I put on my slippers today and choose not to follow my drive or do I throw on my favorite Under Armour's and hit the pavement like I know I should?
Sometimes you just need that little bit of insight from someone other than your own intellect. I can tell myself in 20 different ways, three different languages and with the sincerity of my deepest soul that I am perfect the way I am... but it won't work. It never does. It's a learning process, a changing process.
It's the way you look at life- the way you let life look.
Being a slave to anything but your own happiness, your own dreams and desires, is nothing but a waste of time and energy. You have to figure out how to look at life. In that discovery you will figure out the way you'll let life look.
I look at life as a journey, no, a path of many obstacles, some are a blast, some are exhausting, some are downright painful, but they all create the life in which I want to live and smile through. Because of this, I let life look open & unwritten. I'll write those pages, one day at a time. Some days will wind up blank, perhaps with a question mark, or an exclamation mark, with no additional description needed. Others will simply be summed up by one of the many inspiring posts on Pinterest. But some pages, some of those really meaningful days, or successful days, or just plain happy days, will result in pages and pages worth of stories. Pages of smiling faces, great times with friends, with family. Those pages will be full of major set backs and countered with some amazing opportunities & celebrations.
Find your life. Decide what you'll make it and let it look that way.
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